Sunday, October 6, 2013

I've been up in the air

365 days have passed since I last shifted. 
And in the past 243 of them I have been complete, wholly, and vividly up in the air. 
It has simply been the state of my life. 

I allowed people to come and go like the changing of flowers in bloom. I ignored it all to chase my dreams like a wild animal going for the kill, simply blind to everything else. I run on hands, not feet, never quite moving fast enough to catch where my mind is taking me next. 

I blinked once or twice. I allowed myself to get caught up every so often, but it never lasted long. I didn't want it to. No one held my interest, and the few that did simply couldn't keep up with me. I feel as if I outrun them, leave them behind in the dust my of trailblazing thoughts as they sprint ever onward. 

But now, the crossroads have ended. 

So much sooner than I expected to, I find myself crashing back to earth with the weight of the decision, what it means, and what I will have to face now. The fall is terrifying, my heart pounds into my bones with the fear of what this will bring. But I don't flinch, and I land with assurance that I can handle the weight of this task. 

I am not retreating, which means I will need to stand and fight, and in the most difficult season to do so quickly dawning. In the cold of winter, when all is gone and dead and the world lays barren at my feet, I am going to be tested. I know it, as sure as I am of the rise and fall of the ocean's tides, and the moon's everlasting sway. But I know that it's important. That by staying, I choose not to hide, but to face it and grow from it. 

Is this the end I feel?
It is. 
Its the end of an era, and the beginning of another.
I am shifting once more.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...