Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Fuck, My Life Is a Mess

Lately, my life has been a fucking mess of "Why? How? What am I doing?" and really, I don't have a single freaking answer to any of the above.
I have a job that works for me.
I am graduating college with my BA in Professional Writing.
And. Then. What?
I don't fucking know! I don't. I have no fucking idea. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years, and realized later I made a lot of fucking mistakes, and let other people and their ideas and their opinions influence me. So that needs to get worked on.
So now I am basically dating around and trying to find what works.

And some days, that's alright. Some days I wake up and say "okay, this is today and we're gonna do what makes us smile and does't negatively impact myself or others. Rise and shine."
And then there are days when I wake up in tears, pick up my cat, and sway around my bedroom with her in my arms to a sadass John Mayer song terrified because I don't know what the fuck I am doing with my life.
And then I had a startling revelation waking up in someone else's bed Sunday morning.

Everyone's life is a fucking mess at my age! NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING. That is life of the Twenty-Somethings today. The world is a fucking mess, how do we expect our little universes to work so perfectly within it?

And I remembered the above book I browsed at Barnes & Noble a while back. Its the musings of Emma Koenig's blog Fuck I'm In My Twenties, and it is the perfect voice of our generation today.

So what I'm trying to say here is, don't sweat the chaos. Don't stress over the lack of answers. Just keep working at finding them, and remember, we're all right there with you. You are not alone, and you are not your parents, and this is not their time. It doesn't matter if your mom and dad had everything figured out when they were 22, you don't need to, and don't feel bad or freak out that you don't.
Just take a deep breath.
Let it out.
And keep moving. 

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