The following is a personal article I composed for my Online Magazine class. I'm putting in a read through because it contains quite a few trigger warnings for rape, sexual violence, and anything related to the ilk.
My story is not uncommon. Those lines are not new or
different or a random occurrence. They are everyday events in what has been
termed rape culture in this lovely world of ours. Rape culture can be quite
simply defined as a culture where sexual violence is condoned and normalized
through media, prevalent attitudes, norms, and practices. And if you think this
isn’t us, isn’t our society, then let me ask you how many times you’ve heard or
called someone a slut, or said she was asking for it? How many times have you
looked at a woman’s clothing and thought “man, she must be desperate.”? How
many times have you heard a rape joke, or worse, used the term rape in a light
hearted manner? Chances are you’ve done one or more of the above, and that,
ladies and gentlemen, is a rape culture.
There have been many attempts to combat the problem, and all
of them are attacking the wrong freaking problem. I applaud RAD classes and events
like Take Back the Night, how could I not be happy with anything that empowers
women? However, we’re still going about the whole damn thing wrong. In this
manner of teaching women “don’t get raped” we are still in fact victimizing
women. Victimizing is blaming the victim for something that was clearly not
their fault. When an animal is abused, do you blame the dog for being in the
way? Would you teach it to bite back? No. You would find the person responsible
and throw them in jail and nurture the poor creature back to health. We should
not be teaching women “don’t get raped,” but instead be teaching men, “don’t
rape.”
Consent is sexy. Enthusiastic consent is the true sexy. And
just because she isn’t saying “no,” doesn’t mean she’s saying “yes” either. If
she’s too drunk, it means “no”. If she’s unconscious, that is an obvious
freaking “no.” If she says she’s not sure, that is still NO. Anything other
than an enthusiastic “yes, I would love to have sex with you,” in fact means
“No, please back off right the hell now.” It doesn’t matter how much skin she
is showing, or how many drinks she has had, or whether or not she’s flirted
with you, yes means yes, and no means no.
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