The Malachim Mystery Revealed- We Have Set A Date!

I honestly cannot believe how much and how little time has passed. I'm only halfway through the second month of 2014, and yet the little idea I had over one year ago when I was still sleeping on a mattress of the second bedroom going through my break-up, is finally coming to fruition. I am speaking of course, as most of you already know, about the jewelry line for my Etsy store known as Eerie Enchantments called the Malachim Mysteries.

The Malachim Mysteries came to me while pouring over my many books on magick hunting for fresh ideas for the shop. I knew I wanted to make magick accessible, but I wanted to do things differently. I didn't want cute or kitschy, I wanted what I loved, which was something eerie and, well, creepy. Not necessarily dark or gothic per se, but more of that rustic, heathen of olde vibe. Today this theme has been settled into what I call "the gypsy/swamp witch aesthetic". I have seen tons and tons of work with the Futhark runes, but the Malachim script has remained fairly untouched. 

I'm incredibly passionate about my work, and I could go on about it for hours, but in the spirit of keeping this post condensed down to the good bits, I've made this little Q & A. It keeps me for rambling and my thoughts on point.

Why did this take over a year to create?

Time, money, and process. Metal working isn't cheap, and honestly I was terrified it would be beyond me. I also did not know how I wanted to go into it- would I do scratch engraving, work with a corrosive? It took half of the year just to decide that stamping was the way to go. From there it was about saving up, and managing my time so working on this became an everyday occurrence. 

What the heck is the Malachim Script?

The Malachim script is a form of writing published in its original form by Cornelius Agrippa in the 16th century, when alchemy and ceremonial magic was in full swing. If you notice, it greatly resembles sigils for fallen angels in the Goetic tomes, which was widely used in that same era and is probably not a coincidence. In short- its a magical alphabet most likely used just to keep ones work secret from the prying eyes of the church. 

What is the process you use?

Technically, its called metal stamping, but this feels a bit ill-fitting for what I'm doing. For one- stampers tend to use simple and expensive font-sets for custom engraving work, which is pretty basic and easy. I think I anyone can manage it with the time and budget, depending on what metal base you're working with. In short- you take a metal stamp, line it up where you want it to go, smack it with a hammer, and bang - an impression is made. Then you simply polish, and darken up the impressions with your material of choice. Liver of sulphur is a popular one. What I do uses a total of 4 stamps in total, which I layer and modify by holding at odd angles in order to create the designs. Its a lot more work, requires patience and precision, but in the end it allows me to truly customize my work to make hammering out beautiful Malachim script pieces a reality. After they're finished, every piece gets a moonlight blessing so its ready for use. This entire line was blessed and charged under the light of the Snow Moon. 

What are you planning for the line exactly?

The first line is titled Words Of Reverence, and contains a series of words I believe to be vastly important to daily life, magickal or not. I have plans for other lines with the names of deities, as well as maybe a reverse form that has been requested of me by the darling shop owner of Some Enchanted Evening here in Spencer, MA. Ideas for necklaces and earrings are also in sketch-form, with customized options on all of the above. I want my customers to find the perfect fit that empowers there lives. Do you have a circle name you go by, or a god or goddess you want to feel more connected to? Or do you just want Castiel because Malachim reminds you of Enochian? If they can dream it, and I can fit in on a blank, we can make it happen. 

When can we expect these pieces to be available for purchase?

You can actually find a piece I made just for Some Enchanted Evening in her beautiful magick store right here in Spencer, MA. She carries the best collection of incense and stones and makes gorgeous wire-wrapped jewelry. She also personally knows Dorothy Morrison and is a published author, so if you are in or around Spencer, I highly encourage you pay her shop a visit at 234 Main Street. The full line of the Words of Reverence of the Malachim Mysteries will launch on the next New Moon, which happens to fall on March 1st. Mark your calenders, and keep your eyes open. This journey is only just beginning.  

2013- A Year Of Words

Its 2am. I wrapped up my latest deadline sometime around 6pm. I emptied my bank account at the ATM for rent, with just enough left over to buy my favorite stuffed mushroom caps, firewood, and two bottles of wine for tomorrow. I came home, I ate, I hammered things, I made a fire and wrote for awhile.

Then a video by one of my favorite Youtubers Olan Rogers made me cry.

 Actual tears in large numbers streaming down my face, which actually hurts when its 8 degrees outside and the air inside makes my skin dry up and everything hurts, but it gave me some thought, and it was quite a bit that I haven't actually considered. It may seem odd because New Years Eve is tomorrow and I know everyone gets drunk and makes New Years resolutions which most will never actually carry out, but the day has honestly never meant very  much to me. My life moves with the pagan Sabbats, so my new years is Halloween, which makes sense because it is one of the last harvests, and every day after gets colder and then we all huddle up and wait for the snows to thaw and the earth to wake up again.

So I didn't actually realize until Olan was making cry talking about how the life he chooses isn't easy or one that gets you a ton of money, that the New Year is dawning in the next 24 hours, or what that means to most, or even what it means to me. And then Olan talks in detail about being completely broke between jobs, but he loves it, he loves it so much that the rest doesn't matter. And thats me with writing.

I know I'll get published one day. We will get to that point. It may take time, because I do need to pay the rent with my other writing gigs and I have others hobbies and am actually looking to put more time into those and add more because clearly I am a crazy person, but its not just about publishing for me. I love writing because I love the physical and mental of act of invention. I love being in the rush of that perfect moment when I figured out why Eve is immune to Gromory's pheromones, or why Lilly can see ghosts, or how Serenity's innocence actually nearly destroys her. I love watching the characters come to life and living with them in my heads and going about my day and thinking about how this reminds me of them or something they would do. When I have a shitty day, I often think about how Finn or Azazel or Vincent would handle it, and laugh.

In the beginning, there was only the copper scraps. And we said Yeah, Blessed are the copper scraps for letting me smack tons of tiny stamps into them. 

And no, its not easy, and yeah, I don't make a ton of money. I barely get by on a whim and a spell, and I'm considering, as I'm pushing to get better at engraving so I can launch the Malachim Mysteries line at Eerie Enchantments in time for the Spring Awakening, even applying for a possibly better job just to make things slightly less stressful.

But despite my home being chillier than I like because the noise I made upon seeing the latest heat bill was not that of a human being, I'm happy. I know it doesn't make sense to most people, which is strange to me because this is the only thing that ever has to myself, but I am mentally and spiritually and emotionally at a place of gratitude and happiness and passion that I have not felt in years. Because I managed to live for the first time on the written word and my own sheer insanity alone, and that's a pretty damn beautiful.

Though my shift has been underway for some time now already, I hope that everyone has a safe and happy New Year's Eve tomorrow (yes it is still December 30th screw your clock laptop), and wish you all the best of luck. Though honestly, I will tell you a secret from someone who has had probably what someone would describe as a long string of crappy luck in most areas of life, luck is not necessary. Only you are. Change happens only when you do it. Don't ask yourself what you want to see different in 2014, just ask yourself how badly do you want it, and you'll know then where you'll be in another 365 days.

I'll be hammering metal and keys, dying my hair, and living in and for the words as I always have, and always will.

From Beneath It Rises

It came forth not with a flash but a roar of thunder, subtle but growing until its crescendo of a slap against the skies of my soul. 

The shift begins, and the pressure shift is a sensation and excitement like no other.

Not all of the change is perfect happiness. There are hard decisions to make and sacrifices to be made, and I can already see one of the small forks on the trail ahead. But I'm ecstatic for the simple that its happening. 

Change is good.

Change means I'm living, and they are all changes in the right direction.

I throw myself headlong into this shift with all of the force of my passionate soul.

Speak Little, Listen Much

I had a conversation with a friend not long ago. I'm not sure how it came to this topic, though many of them like myself are non-linear thinkers and as such topics tend to move from one to the next with seemingly no relation at all. But somehow in someway I ended up sitting in my kitchen drinking tea and found myself defending the importance of living in your thoughts.

I know the first argument against this, I do. You get too disconnected, they say. You get too lost and your thoughts can go to very dark places, they argue.

 First off- don't kid yourself into thinking you are more connected to the world than you are in your own mind. What is meditation other than going deep inside yourself, into your mind and the confines of yourself to feel out your connection to the world around you. I don't know about you, but nothing bad has ever come out of my meditative exercises. Through meditation I met Kaijana, who has taught me to stand up for myself and what I believe, and that to me is one of the most powerful lessons any of us can learn in life.

Second- You can control your thoughts. You are not their slave, they are your own and you are their master. One of my favorite books on witchcraft has one of the most powerful quotes about life I have ever absorbed "You are the magician, you are the master of your world and everything in it, including your own emotions."

Growing up pagan, I'd get a lot of crap about going through a phase, what with the amounts of paganism in popular culture in the 90's, but honestly what I love about this religious path is not just the magick or the feeling of endless possibility, its the lessons you learn from it that you carry in life. The first goal to being a witch is Know Thyself, but that shouldn't apply just to a religion, that should be a life necessity, because it is. And by thinking deeply, by truly letting yourself delve deep into your mind can you allow yourself to do exactly that.

Through witchcraft I grew up not begging for forgiveness from my gods and goddesses for my mistakes. To me, they don't forgive, because there is no need to. There is no Hell, because there is no need for one. The threefold law will show you the error of your ways, and with it you learn, and you grow stronger, fuller, and more powerful in your own way.

What happens when you don't, you ask? I can tell you the answer, because I did exactly that for the past three years of my life. You become stagnant. Often I hear from loved ones that they are in a rut, and my first question will be, "Well, what you have been thinking about lately?" And the answer is always the same, they haven't.

Don't be afraid of the dark places or the scary thoughts. Follow them to where they lead, master them, and they will no longer rule. They are parts of yourself, and just as important to your individual existence as the lights and joys you carry. I won't lie, there are plenty of things of which to fear in this world, but your own mind should never be one of them.

"Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust.
Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.
For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out.
To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.
Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much."

-the Wiccan Rede, stanza 1

Weekend Witchcraft; Hematite for Mindy, Body, and Soul

If there is a single stone I constantly recommend to others time and time again, its hematite. 

Hematite is a hefty iron oxide mineral, its weight making it a tricky one to mold into jewelry. I wouldn't recommend it for earrings, but I do highly recommend it for daily wear. And here's why.

Hematite is one of the most effective stone's for grounding, in every sense of the word. If your thoughts tend to wander away from you, you have trouble focusing, or simply need a push to keep yourself on task, this is the perfect stone to stay motivated and energized. 

I wear a small hematite ring on a daily basis, and as such I charge it at least once a week in this little cauldron on my altar, which currently holds a bit of Taurus potpourri, to keep it in tuned with my personal needs and charged to my energy, but you can charge and cleanse hematite in any way you see fit. 

Worn daily hematite can act to ground yourself in ways far more than the physical and mental. This stone can actually act as a guidance charm. Lately my life is at a cross-roads, which is not a place I like to be, but since I started remembering to wear my hematite ring 24/7 it works exactly as its entry in The Book of Stones tells of it: 

"Carrying or wearing a Hematite can assist one in bringing one's dreams and aspirations into reality and in learning the difference between a true vision and a fantasy."

You can find hematite rings for $2 at the most at your local occult stores, or you can also purchase your own specially crafted Guidance Amulet from my store at Eerie Enchantments.

the Guidance Amulet, currently for sale at Eerie Enchantments

Whether you're feeling a little lost, or feel that your dreams are out of reach, I personally recommend hematite in any form that isn't magnetic (simply because if it touches your electronics, kiss those babies goodbye), to reaffirm your goals and help you find the path towards the life you have always wanted. 

Further hematite reading:

• Hematite via Charms of Light
• Products at AzureGreen
• Details & Further Info

Weekend Witchcraft; Animal Guides and How To Find Them

Kaijana, my fierce and powerful animal guide. 

Animal guides are different for all of us, and in my own experience they tend to shift and change with us throughout our lives. She was once a leopard, smaller in stature, and far more timid. Black with dark brown spots. Today she is a massive golden jaguar, her head is nearly the size of pillow. She doesn't tolerate much, and is fiercely territorial. Kaijana is my greatest asset and has pushed, prodded, and snarled at me to become the woman I am today, and one I am truly proud to be. 

To find your animal guide takes time. I don't recommend the trip for anyone who is faint of heart or short on patience. Again, I surmise that the journey to finding your guide is different for everyone. Mine began, as most of you already know, with a thorough cleansing of my home. You will need to meditate, and one session will rarely yield all of your answers.Doing so for some can feel like astral projecting, moving to a different plane of existence where the metaphysical is more physical than meta, allowing  you to see the unseen within and outside yourself. Focus on breathing, and if your brain is wandering, try to give it a singular thought, a word or even just staring into a candle flame, to put your mind in the proper state. I used an Ascended Guides candle, sandalwood incense, and a pentagram charm from Some Enchanted Evening to help discover the name of mine, and it truly worked to gain her trust once more.

Once found, name learned, and trust earned, be sure to speak to them often and keep them close. I wear a necklace with a pendant shaped like a fang filled with pyrite and a drop of mercury, reminding me of her fierce and powerful nature. Recently I purchased a small figurine of a powerful jaguar placed by my personal spell candle. I also found Rainforest incense by Gaia, which I burn in the living room and makes my home feel like exactly that. Kaijana sleeps in my bed at night, taking up most of the full size mattress, often headbutts me to get to work, and loves to prowl on a walk about town. So far she has helped me to make better choices, and to do so confidently and without fear. 

The power of your animal guide is only limited to that which you limit yourself. If you choose to have none, the possibilities which they hold for you can be as endless and vast as time itself. 

Opalescence

Opals are one of my favorite stones. They have an array of amazing mystical properties. Often known as bringers of luck, many opals which change their color so easily are often told to ease great changes in life, such as a break-up, or a move, or staring a new job. 

The stone I carry more often than  not is a pink opal. Opals are very fragile, so be careful if you're going to carry it in your pocket that they do not fall out. Try keeping it in a pouch to cushion any falls, or mounting it on a piece of jewelry. I took to wire-wrapping mine in cheap aluminum wire, as I'm still learning wire wrapping. I'm quite happy with how it came out though. Pink opals are a wonderful aid in healing the heart. I find mine helps to re-center my aura, and give me peace and guidance in the chaos that is my life these days. 

More information about opals:

• Shimmerlings
• Little Treasure Chest

Eerie Enchantmants, the Beginning

A few weeks back my hands-bug bit me, in the form of jewelry. My hands-bug is this need I sometimes get to step away from the computer and the books and simply use my hands-on brain. All creativity, all physical work. No thoughts about books or articles whatsoever. And then I started sketching things out, big, crazy things. Shop idea things. And so I have begun my journey into what will in a few months time conclude with opening my own etsy shop, Eerie Enchantments.

Eerie Enchantments is going to be a long endeavor for me. When I get a project like this in my mind, a really big one (like the Sigil series) I can see in my head the potential for awesome, if I do it just so. I want the E.E. store to have a very signature style to it. I want sorceress style - seductive, mysterious, and powerful. Malachim script is going to be a big thing for the pieces. In fact I already have a sort of "signature store item" in my mind that I'm working out a few ways to accomplish, because it must be absolutely perfect or not at all. I want these to be beautiful, quality items that you'll cherish for years. I want to give people witchcraft you can wear. 

I'm taking this process slowly, one piece and skill at a time. I don't want to rush it, I want to do everything just right. I've started learning wire-wrapping and am happy to find it is not at all as hard as I thought it would be. I'm also doing research to begin learning how to knot and braid hemp. I hope to extend the shop to include accessories, like velvet hair wraps, and maybe even home goods as well.

Athena's Enlightenment, wire-wrapped fluorite. Soon to be with amethyst too!

Stone of Breath, A simple light jade ring

Hathor's Blessing, featuring raw aventurine

Hecate, the Night Queen; featuring raw smoky quartz

Protection of Poseidon, branch coral with lapis lazuli, smoky quartz, aventurine, and hematite.

Body Butter Blessings

In my efforts to practice self-love, I have, of course!, turned to witchcraft. As I often tend to do with everything I struggle with in life. It always seems to help too, in ways that surprise me.

At the start of every week I now do a full body-blessing. If it sounds complicated, don't worry, it is superbly simple. Just visualize all of the negativity washing down the drain during your daily shower, scrub away all of that metaphysical ick that has you down or causes self-doubts and anxieties, just take a deep breath and rinse it all away. You can even say a few words if you would like to, such as "Water of life, wash away all negativity, cleanse me from all darkness and strife."

Cocoa butter can tighten skin and heal stretch marks as it moisturizes. Infinitely awesome.

Once you're toweled off, drenched yourself in body butter from head to toe. I prefer cocoa butter myself, and take time to massage it into your skin as you ask whatever deities you worship for your body blessings. Traditionally this is done by going from chakra to chakra, but you can do it however you like. Ask for your gods to bless your feet so you don't stub your toes (I've broken mine twelve times, this is something I ask for often), or for your mind to think clearly towards solutions. Your body is just as individual and beautiful as your Craft.

Changes Coming To This Blog

• Mondays will be for Musings. Expect personal diatribes and lengthy rants to start off your week.
• Tunes will be moved in leiu of Turn It Up Tuesdays. I would like to start posting little playlists. If I can find the technology to work it, I will make it happen
• Life changes! I now have two jobs, so once I start the second one postings on here will probably get farther and farther between. I'll try to make them worth your while.

Dream walking

Dream walking is a meditative practice to recall ones dreams. Lately I've been having dreams of some of my past lives, but they've been changing, and I was curious to see if it was simply my dreaming mind warping them, or if the memories were simply more than I previously knew them to be. 

You can dream walk anyway you like. The important thing is to be meditating, not sleeping. This way you are able to direct the dream as you would like, without getting lost in the twists and turns of our often confusing subconscious thoughts. I started doing it actually pacing around my friends bedroom, because in the dream I had I was walking, but really, whatever meditative exercise you prefer would work fine. I love taking baths to ease my aching back from a long day of writing at the computer, and my last dream walk I was trying to pick up the thread of the dream that ended with me waking up in a tub in whatever past life I had found myself back in that time. It was very vivid. My hair was in ringlets down to my shoulders, and the water smelled of rose oil. 

Recalling past lives can be vital to the journey of our souls, which is really what we are. You are a soul in a body, not a body with a soul. I've been meditating like this with a notebook nearby, coming to every so often to jot down notes before I drift back in again. It's been a fascinating journey so far, and I came to realize what I've been seeing in my sleeping mind was actually a dream in my past life, a dream within a memory of sorts. 

Next time you have one of those dreams you simply can't get out of your head, consider lying down somewhere quiet with a notebook in hand, pick up the thread, and see where your dreams will lead you. 

Witchy Wednesday: Quartz Grid

Quartz is an extremely versatile stone. You can literally use it for every spell you can think of, its a great substitute, and can also be used to boost the properties of other stones. You can even place ir in gardens and potted plants to help plants grow. What I have been using my quartz bits as since I've moved out on my own is a crystal grid to protect my home.

I've noticed my aura has a tendency to attract things, and likewise negative bits and things can be found trying to make a home in any place with anyone no matter who you are or where you live. One way I try to combat this is with this quartz point grid. Simply place a piece of quartz on the corners of your property. I keep them in the windowsills closest to the four corners of my apartment. Keep your largest point in the center of your home, and try and refresh or cleanse it often. Even if its simply dusting it off, anointing it with a smidge of holy water, or simply noticing its presence and reminding yourself its there.

I have also found that selenite can be just as powerful as a protection stone, so you can use it instead of quartz if you prefer, or simply inter-mix the two. I keep a polished selenite point at the center of home as the focal point of my grid, and a large unpolished tower as a main piece of my altar. I highly recommend a quartz or selenite grid to anyone, especially if you begin to feel uncomfortable in your home. Do you find yourself running up the stairs or wanting the lights on in every room around you? Try a quartz grid, and call me in the morning.

Places to find them:

-Azuregreen

-Etsy

-your own backyard!

Oh, The Many Things Your Hands Can Do

Does anyone else remember that faucet commercial jingle? It was a cute little song, lots of adorable clips of messy hands turning on the faucet with a tap of the wrist. Good advertising, that. I got it into my head a few days ago in the bath after a long workout and many hours of working on my new Warrior Witch vest, as I have come to call it. Its like if witches rode motorcycles instead of brooms? Yeah, that kind of vest. Think Witchcraft meets Road Warrior.

I love these kind of projects because so far everything I've used has been FREE. The beautiful tarot-card patch was a Yule present from Unlaced, the vest I'm using a hand-me-down from the lovely Coors, and the various studs come from Unlaced, while others I stripped off a falling-apart-belt. I plan to use some black denim scraps to make a few more witchy patches, velvet bits, add some stones and bones, occult symbols on the lining, and runes for a more traditional witchy vibe, and more studs! Maybe even a secret inside pocket for charms. Debating on buying more tarot card patches, or one big ouijia board patch. Its a tough call.

In a few hours I had the above work. I watched a lot of Ghost Adventures and trashed my nail polish, which was all of four days old. I came to remember why I have just about never painted my nails, I always wreck them, either at work at my various jobs I've held throughout the past few years, or just working around the house/getting crafty. 

The more I thought about it, the more I began to realize how much I love doing work with my hands. The feel of the keys beneath my fingers right now as they crawl across the keyboard, memorized years ago from typing many pages of the stories I've written and continue to write. The feel of a pen swirling the words across the page. The careful and hurried strokes of a paintbrush. Hauling hay from trailers to leaning towers of terror. Weeding and shifting books in the stacks. Climbing cherry-pickers to grab water bottles for orders at the factory. Hands covered in dirt and dust, ink and paint, bruised and scratched and worn from working with studs and farm equipment and pens. 

What have you done with your hands lately?

Witchy Wednesdays: Haunted Spencer

It seems no matter where I go, I cannot escape the paranormal. I suppose it comes with the territory being a resident of Massachusetts, one of the oldest gorramn states in this country. Its not even the whole "so rich in history" to me, as just the simple fact that people have lived here for a very long freaking time and so there a lot of dead bodies. Cemeteries as far as the eye can see. 

My old apartment in Fitchburg had the creepiest goddamn basement. We dubbed it "the murder basement" and in the two years I lived there it was a house rule that, unless of dire emergency, no one went in the basement after dark. I am a spiritual sensitive/empath/I see and feel weird shit all the time. If you're pissed off, chances are I can feel it. If there's a ghost in the house, you can be damn sure I'll find out. 

I haven't been around Spencer too much yet, but I knew there had to be something here. There are three witchcraft stores in this town, which may not seem like a lot to some of my readers, but in a small town of only 10,000 people that is a LOT. I was curious, what's drawing the witches here? So I did some digging. 

Spencer is a very, very old town, and is all pretty damn haunted. Prouty Mansion sees a lot of activity, and even casual ghost hunters have caught EVPs ("electromagnetic voice phenomena" for those not in the know) in the Pine Groves Cemetery. But the cemetery that honestly gives me the heebie jeebies is a sort of modern one called Holy Rosary Cemetery. Its right off West Main St aka Rte 9 on my way to Big Y and Klem's. 

Everytime I see this damn hedge-sign (I dunno what else you call it) it just freaking bothers me. Which is funny to those who are me, because I've driven by Pine Grove plenty of times on my way in from the old Burg place, and its all quiet and peaceful. Holy Rosary is just noisy to the point where I have to truly work to shut out the chaos. I don't know what it is, but something about that sign gives a voice to the dead for me when one is really not needed. 

I'm hoping to give both Holy Rosary and Pine Grove a really thorough walk-through once it warms up enough that I can see the ground and not trip over anyone's last resting place. We've got over two-feet of snow burying much of Spencer, and alas, its only January, so there is plenty more to come. Mayhaps I will chat up the lovely shop owner of Some Enchanted Evening once she returns from holiday. Perhaps she can give me a few clues and set me on the right track here. 

Anyone else have any creepy stories they'd like to share?

Taking Back Control

For days I've wanted to run and hide. Its always my initial response. When I'm confronted with a new problem my response is to run, and as I am fairly slim on people I feel I can run to, I simply want to run away. To curl up and cry and return to what feels safe and secure.

But I run no more.

I work now to confront that which scares me, that which I dislike, and that which I have been too afraid to speak or work or do.




I have been working to embrace myself fully and openly. I've realized I have neglected my witchy roots for so long, tiptoeing in and around it, when I what I needed most was to openly and completely embrace this power of the universe.

I went outside to my old outdoor altar, on the edge of the woods that line my parents' property. Its a beautiful spot on a rock bed that always seems betwixt worlds to me since I moved here as a child. The stream that divides our property trickles just a few feet away, and scores of blue jays and chickadees chattered around me in the trees.

 I came out there with only my obsidian orb, a lighter, and a simple white vanilla candle, dusted off the layers of decay to reveal the hand painted stones of my most sacred circle, and I sat, and I convened. I spoke the names of my chosen deities, and I spoke, and I listened, and I was reminded how I have stood on my own two feet for years. I have survived a great deal and accomplished much and will continue to do so. I was given power and knowledge and the understanding to wield them both.

I feel strong and pure.

I will not be ruled by my insecurities. I have forever feared failure, but if I work my hardest, I cannot fail.

And work I shall.

Everything feels clearer and brighter. I see the obstacles and avoid them with ease like never before. A moth escorts me from my woodland circle, and I see Aradia smiling upon me. A queen of queens.

This is what she wants.

This is what I want and need.

I can only be hurt if I allow myself to be.

I am unbreakable.

And I will not be swayed by anyone's heart or mind, save for my own.

My Spirit Animal

Inspired by my darling LadyUnlaced's popular post about finding your spirit animal, I became emblazoned to write a post about my very own beloved spirit animal, the black spotted leopard.

source

Solitary, powerful, mysterious, wild, and absolutely free. Leopards in the wild are extremely opportunistic hunters, eating everything from big game to dung beetles if food becomes scarce.

Like Unlaced with her white tiger, I've always known this animal was mine. I remember seeing a picture of one in a Nat Geo book as a little girl and being in awe. I actually got the chance to see one in person at a local fair, and I was in awe as much as I was in shame. She was beautiful and deadly and should not have been in such a cage. I could see the "get me the fuck out of here" look in her eyes, and there was nothing more that I wanted to do than somehow get her back to the wild. 

My black panther spirit is named Aradia, a nod to the queen of the witches. She is strong and protective and puts my interests above all others. She is often cold and calculating, for she cares for no ones needs and happiness but my own, but I treasure her companionship always. 

Whose your spirit animal?