Enjoy the Silence

This morning I woke up in an oddly nonprecarious state. My alarm hadn't gone off yet. All of the windows and doors were open for the cool air to move freely throughout my apartment. The cat was nowhere to be found, and when I pulled on my glasses, I had ink drying on my hands from the night before. My skin didn't hurt. My legs didn't feel sore. My mind felt perfectly clear. And not a single sound could be heard, even Tuscany's usual chirps fell silent when she hopped up to say hello.

It's an eerie feeling to wake up to an empty home after so many months without. But its not uncomfortable. There is freedom in the quiet spaces, sollace in the minutes I can spend making coffee and doing the dishes while it percolates where my neighbors have all gone to work, the birds have left the birch for other trees, and even the construction crew at the park (who I'm still certain were building a Trojan rabbit) have gone elsewhere.

I am a noisy creature by trade. I listen to pop music at loud volume to write articles, I put on a mix called Songs to Fight and Fuck To in the shower, (its an Erica Reyes mix in case you were curious), and when I'm stressed out or overworked my first defense is to put on the song in my bones and sing it as loud as humanly possible without going off key. And yet there is something about complete and utter solitude that makes me pause, beckons me to close my eyes and breathe deep just to take it all in, as if the silence is a vast perfection which visits only rarely, and must be cherished as much as possible before it slips away as quietly and unknowingly as it appeared.

The past few months have been a whirlwind of change. I've been diagnosed with a chronic skin condition that forced me to turn my already healthy eating habits on it's head. As a result, I've lost 18 pounds I didn't even know I had, and I may never be able to have alcohol again (sugars of any kind are my kryptonite). My roommate moved out rather suddenly, leaving me to rethink my personal quandaries as well as my entire financial set-up.

I have finally finished the first novel of the Sigil series. It stands as the second novel manuscript ever to be completely finished. I'm still not tired of it. I keep hearing Love Run's Out and I can think of nothing but Azazel and all I want to do is go back. Maybe by the third or seventh novel in this eight book series I'll get tired of him, but here were are three years later, and I am still as enamored with the world of the Sigil series as I was that manic day in my apartment when angels and demons sat on my shoulders.

I have also finally opened my Teen Wolf shop with my darling Manda, Patched & Smacked. The first line of engraved bracelets and handmade patches is up for sale, with new styles and pieces being added to constantly. I have sitting in my kitchen now metal that is just waiting to be hammered out, as well as professionally printed patches which will be up for sale by the end of the month. I look forward to adding necklaces and earrings into the engraved jewelry collection, as well as leather pieces for that hard rock/punk as fuck edge too. If you're going to Howlercon, look for us in the vendor's market. We're happy to take on custom requests too, be it patches, jewelry, or even your very own punk ass werewolf vest. If you can dream it, we can make it. 

Somehow among all of this, I have still managed to get into graduate school and even get something like a promotion at work. I have been accepted into Drexel and am waiting to see what Clarion thinks of me. Either way, I will be attending one of these top ten tech-info sci schools in the beginning of next year to start working on my Masters in Library Sciences. 

So what's next then? Hopefully some sugar-free/dairy-free baking experiments once I get comfy again, maybe an SD skin care overview for the curious few, new playlists I have had brewing for ages which will hopefully end up on 8tracks and not just as another sticky note on my desktop, some voodoo, more shop items, and for my next fic- nerd ass werewolf comedy. Stick around, its gonna be a wild ride. 

Creep and the Great Candida Cleanse of 2014

Today marks the first day of week three of Hell, otherwise known as The Candida Cleanse diet. I have spent the past month poring through everything from unhelpful medical articles to a bevy of youtubers and finally found help from a young man from Boston about ridding my face of SD or serborrheic dermatitis by actually getting the culprit behind it out of my body.

As it turns out, the horrible red flaky itchy burning hell that exists on my face, neck, patches on my hand, and tiny red dot that I glare at daily on the bend of one elbow, is all just a symptom of a large issue in my intestinal tract. Which makes absolute sense, as I have digestive problems that I wrote off as simply stress related that have since cleared up within the first week of the diet.

But the candida diet is no easy task. To get the candida or yeast out of your intestines, you have to go on rigid 2-stage 12 week diet of absolutely no sugars, no starches, no dairy. This means no fresh fruit, no breads, no potatoes, and absolutely no yogurt or cheese. Gluten and sugars are the enemy. The first week was the most exhausted I have ever felt in my entire life, as my body went through the agonizing sugar withdrawal coupled with carbohydrate cravings and a mouthwatering desire for all things dairy. I can smell a banana being opened from the over side of my apartment, and was horrified that I knew from across my parents gigantic kitchen the moment my mother opened a gelato cup by the smell of many many grams of sugar wafting my way. I eat a lot of cucumbers, almonds, and celery with almond butter. Also plain probio yogurt which you could substitute for sour cream and no one would know the difference.

The worst part about it is that the results are not instant. However, the facial creams for these conditions cause skin cancer and can't be applied where my case is generalized, as it could cause glaucoma and cataracts, such is the nasty nature of steroids. However, I can feel it beginning to clear up. I'm throwing everything at the wall. I drink Detox by Yogi, Echinea Tea, take an army of vitamins every morning and neem leaves throughout the day, and have a new facial regimine that actually takes the itch out and no longer gives me the urge to claw my face off on a daily basis.

If you suffer from SD or any dermatitis, here's what you should know:

1. Stop eating sugars and drinking alcohol now. 
2. Salt water and sunlight are your new best friends.
3. Drink echinea tea like its going out of style.
4. Ladies, your period will make you flare up like fucking hell. 
5. Don't freak out when products burn your skin. Everything is going to burn right now. Your skin is an open wound and its PH is completely off-kilter. Fucking water burns mine right now, but it will fade in a few minutes and if you use the right products, they will work.
6. Scented products are now the devil to you, and in fact always have been. If it says perfume on the list, toss it. 
7. Anything with calamine and tea tree oil are you best friends.

I had to stop using most of my PC products because they simply were not helping, and found astonishingly good results with this routine:

1. Anti-fungal shampoo, use as directed by your doctor or everyday if you feel you need to. I use ketoconazole shampoo, but you can use Selsun Blue for sensitive skin (look for the green cap)
2. Fresh Farmacy by Lush. (calamine based that has truly worked to take the burn/itch away)
3. Tea Tree Spray Toner by Luch (many good anti-fungal ingredients in this)
4. 2% BHA Gel by Paula's Choice. (this will burn like a fucker, but I swear to you it works. This will keep your pores from clogging, and has given me smooth skin despite the red patches)
5. Gold Bond Ultra Healing. (Teeny tiny amounts. The only thing I've found that keeps my skin moisturized all day long. 100% scent free goodness)

So basically thats what I've been up to for the past month. Expect posts about my adventure with Dermazinc, the supposed miracle product that should be in my hands tomorrow, as well as healthy homemade cheap as fuck popsicles. and other candida-free edibles. I will also be posting more Sigil soon, as I'm still plugging away at the first draft, new shop announcements, and forays into Camp Nano next month.
For my incessant bitching and moaning throughout the Hell Cleanse, you can simply visit my tumblr and tag track (or blacklist as you feel) Creep beats SD 2k14.

I hope everyone had a happy Summer Solstice, and if times are rough, just remember, Teen Wolf starts TOMORROW. :D