Enjoy the Silence

This morning I woke up in an oddly nonprecarious state. My alarm hadn't gone off yet. All of the windows and doors were open for the cool air to move freely throughout my apartment. The cat was nowhere to be found, and when I pulled on my glasses, I had ink drying on my hands from the night before. My skin didn't hurt. My legs didn't feel sore. My mind felt perfectly clear. And not a single sound could be heard, even Tuscany's usual chirps fell silent when she hopped up to say hello.

It's an eerie feeling to wake up to an empty home after so many months without. But its not uncomfortable. There is freedom in the quiet spaces, sollace in the minutes I can spend making coffee and doing the dishes while it percolates where my neighbors have all gone to work, the birds have left the birch for other trees, and even the construction crew at the park (who I'm still certain were building a Trojan rabbit) have gone elsewhere.

I am a noisy creature by trade. I listen to pop music at loud volume to write articles, I put on a mix called Songs to Fight and Fuck To in the shower, (its an Erica Reyes mix in case you were curious), and when I'm stressed out or overworked my first defense is to put on the song in my bones and sing it as loud as humanly possible without going off key. And yet there is something about complete and utter solitude that makes me pause, beckons me to close my eyes and breathe deep just to take it all in, as if the silence is a vast perfection which visits only rarely, and must be cherished as much as possible before it slips away as quietly and unknowingly as it appeared.

The past few months have been a whirlwind of change. I've been diagnosed with a chronic skin condition that forced me to turn my already healthy eating habits on it's head. As a result, I've lost 18 pounds I didn't even know I had, and I may never be able to have alcohol again (sugars of any kind are my kryptonite). My roommate moved out rather suddenly, leaving me to rethink my personal quandaries as well as my entire financial set-up.

I have finally finished the first novel of the Sigil series. It stands as the second novel manuscript ever to be completely finished. I'm still not tired of it. I keep hearing Love Run's Out and I can think of nothing but Azazel and all I want to do is go back. Maybe by the third or seventh novel in this eight book series I'll get tired of him, but here were are three years later, and I am still as enamored with the world of the Sigil series as I was that manic day in my apartment when angels and demons sat on my shoulders.

I have also finally opened my Teen Wolf shop with my darling Manda, Patched & Smacked. The first line of engraved bracelets and handmade patches is up for sale, with new styles and pieces being added to constantly. I have sitting in my kitchen now metal that is just waiting to be hammered out, as well as professionally printed patches which will be up for sale by the end of the month. I look forward to adding necklaces and earrings into the engraved jewelry collection, as well as leather pieces for that hard rock/punk as fuck edge too. If you're going to Howlercon, look for us in the vendor's market. We're happy to take on custom requests too, be it patches, jewelry, or even your very own punk ass werewolf vest. If you can dream it, we can make it. 

Somehow among all of this, I have still managed to get into graduate school and even get something like a promotion at work. I have been accepted into Drexel and am waiting to see what Clarion thinks of me. Either way, I will be attending one of these top ten tech-info sci schools in the beginning of next year to start working on my Masters in Library Sciences. 

So what's next then? Hopefully some sugar-free/dairy-free baking experiments once I get comfy again, maybe an SD skin care overview for the curious few, new playlists I have had brewing for ages which will hopefully end up on 8tracks and not just as another sticky note on my desktop, some voodoo, more shop items, and for my next fic- nerd ass werewolf comedy. Stick around, its gonna be a wild ride. 

My First Kiss Went A Little Like This

Who doesn't remember their first kiss? These little moments can reveal so much about a person, how you give yourself, how you take, how you draw them in and reveal your inner-most desires. 

Manda Marie sent me this wonderful video a few nights ago, where some brilliant creature thought to pair up twenty complete strangers to share their first kiss on video. The result is a heart-warming, affectionate, and truly inspiring glimpse into humanity.

This is my way of saying that I watched this video, studied it with a close eye, and ended up thinking of fictional characters, both my own and some that I can only admire and write fanfic of from afar, and I am so pleased with how they came out that I had to share them with you all.

Because first kisses are both important to myself, and the lives of my fictional characters. 

Stiles and Derek are really hesitant. There's a great deal of space that closes very slowly, and not at all smoothly. Its a lot of eyes and a few inches at a time. Stiles closes the gap first because seriously the fucking tension is going to kill him. But there's a pause where Stiles pulls away, because unlike the man he's in love with, he is not a werewolf and wants to make sure Derek is okay with this. Derek is a work in progress, Stiles is well aware of this, and he's willing to wait as long as Derek needs. He refuses to be the one to rush him. And Derek smiles because its so fucking beautiful how Stiles wants to be careful with Derek, and there's eye crinkles and the Derek just goes for it. 

Peter kisses Stiles while he is in the middle of a rant because of course Stiles wouldn't just kiss him, he doesn't want to die. He starts off telling him what he really thinks about him. It starts simply and kindly, telling the man that there is more humanity at his core than anyone else realizes, and Stiles sees it now and now that he has he can't unsee it, though believe him when he says he's tried. Also feelings and why does Stiles have them, he's tried to make them stop and convince himself its just a game but its only getting worse. So Peter kiss him. No tongue, not yet, just his lips kissing Stiles, who of course tries to keep up his tirade because he would. Peter nips him on his upper lip just hard enough to make him glare, and Peter, kiss bruised and pupils blown and no longer smirking because feelings are scary tells him simply. "Stiles, I truly admire your ability to question everything, but must you question this?"

Azazel kisses Eve really chastely, but no less addictively. His kiss is a breath, its over so quickly, so softly, but you know you need it for the rest of your life. Eve is so surprised and overwhelmed that she freezes, and Azazel pulls away thinking he has made a grave mistake, thinking that Eve is truly more sociopathic than he realized. Eve grabs him by the shirt collar and pulls him right back, determined to do it right the second time around, and its the first time Azazel really, really smiles. 

Lily first kisses Finn in an attempt to get out of a body lock, thinking this will surprise him enough to loosen his grip, just enough so she can slip out of his hold. The moment her lips crash into his own does surprise the bounty hunter, and the heat of it surprises Lily to the point where she forgets what they were even doing in the first place. Lily and Finn kiss like they fight, trading blows in perfect sync. 

Vincent and Kaira kiss like they're going to war, and Vincent is that stubborn, cocky asshole who refuses to be defeated. There's an untold amount of destruction in their war path. They destroy everything, before they create anew again. 

What was your character's first kiss like?